not enough talk about the ai boyfriend thing. you can write articles on futurism and wired about those lonely weird men roleplaying with ai girlfriends but not all those women on reddit just ruining their perception of reality because now theyre comparinmg real men to a thing that just agrees with them all the time. at least those lonely men by and large know they're playing with hyperreality
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13men do this with regular porn of course (thinking women should be like that) though this is well trodden territory for writers. the fact remains this is a thing that is happening to lots of women and they're choosing not to write about it much. i have theory of why but it's sexist.
@sun Actually not quite, there's a few modern medical papers showing that woman can get excited by imagination/reading while males are more visual, which is why a lot of people says that smut novels on woman has the same effect as porn on male brains
@kumicota popular media, science covers it generally. big gap.
@kumicota as an example you could write a shitty but true article about how ai boyfriends are the new smutty romance novel and shaming them but its never happening
@sun yeah, it's like how a girl doing only fans isn't shunned but a man who subs to an only fans is, society in general still sees woman as a purer being than men in general and the truth is more complex than the fiction
@sun to be clear. A lot of this happens in reverse too, where woman are judged as being worse or less in a field than a man and both of them are bad
@kumicota i don't want to single out women for bad behavior. basically though at this point i have to completely discard feminism as an academic and activist model. it is bad and wrong. not the same as saying i believe sexism is good, just its a geocentric explanation for planetary motion. it observes something, its just wrong
@subnetter @kumicota I am talking about second wave "radfem" and onward
@sun @kumicota @subnetter I've been reading a lot of second-wave feminist essays/papers recently, in preparation for an article I've set about writing. They had a point, a well-reasoned ongoing/perpetual critique of the male focus in literature that was successfully traded and abandoned for real, crude, institutional power in the 90s.
@kernow @kumicota @subnetter to be fair to second wave there is a lot of good academics (I studied it extensively at university in the 90s). the activism and popular promotion of it though was all very bad though
@sun @kumicota @subnetter i really liked Sandra Gilbert laying out in plain English the goals of her movement: Developing a language for women that deals in emotion. Her main gripe with language was because it was developed by men it deals primarily in shape and space, rendering the vast cannon of the west extremely difficult to understand by the majority of women. I find that a noble goal, even if it would drive a greater wedge between the sexes
@kernow @kumicota @subnetter I'll read about it it sounds interesting but of course the goal should have to be that both sexes are fluent in both languages lol
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@sun @kumicota @subnetter I don't think both sexes can be fluent in either one's language. Men are terrible at handling emotions, partly due to a social embargo against men holding emotions, partly due to a diminished emotional center of the brain. I can't tell if this is a chicken and egg problem or something inherent to the sex.
@kernow @kumicota @subnetter fluent is too strong a word. but I can tell you my experience from being married almost a year now. I have had to radically understand women's emotional language better to negotiate with my wife. it has been extremely difficult but it's pretty necessary. I assume if it were the 1950s I would just smack her until she shut up, instead
@sun @kumicota @kernow @subnetter any tips? dealing with my mum is incredibly frustrating and she has a lot of trauma from childhood and depression. She can be logical but when she gets into a downer or angry mood she just spirals often.