Monday morning #headlines recap
Bessent announces "economic D-Day" begins at dawn; presser today 1 PM ET. His own words: "the single greatest financial offensive ever marshaled against an adversary", objective to "sever every economic lifeline”. Iran’s response: "if the economic war continues, not a single drop of oil will be exported, neither through the Strait of Hormuz nor from anywhere in the Persian Gulf", and participation in sanctions will be read as an act of war. Analysts are saying that China’s refusal to participate will neutralize the entire initiative regardless of what other nations do. Didn’t think it was possible for Bessent to be moar ghey, but here we are.
Axios continues to be the house organ for floating bogus stories to bump the market. Their latest bit of propaganda over the weekend exclaims Hormuz traffic is up 400% and “Iran is losing its grip”, but the actual data says crossings still in the single digits and 90% below pre-February 28 numbers.
Iran's parliament speaker Ghalibaf, on the US bond market: "Importing frozen meat to fix meat prices. Okay, that might work. What's the plan for bonds, import frozen yields?" He does a little shitpoasting of his own…
Four more empty Saudi tankers (AMAD, AMJAD, SHADEN, DALIL) left the Gulf of Oman for Red Sea ports the long way around Africa. Bloomberg's version: Riyadh is shuttling millions of barrels north across the Red Sea while sending tankers thousands of miles around Africa to collect them, avoiding the narrow strait at the southern end. I’m sure the delay and the extra fuel for the ships won’t be reflected in the price at the pump….
US crude inventory down to 41 days, lowest in half a century; SPR at its lowest since 1982. Buffalo Airport runs out of jet fuel. It’s not obvious if the Buffalo incident is incompetence at the field or truly a reflection of a shit-hitting-the-fan situation.
IMF read on the fuel situation: current prices don't reflect the Middle East and Russian supply shock, SPR depletion continues into 2027, refinery outages are hitting diesel, Russia has banned fuel exports to Europe, Chinese runs stay constrained, US refiners head into maintenance, and crack spreads at records. I’ve defined crack spreads before, it’s an economic measure of barrel of oil price vs. price at the pump. I feel the need to reiterate this because of the ridiculous number of assmen on fedi.
US casualties in the Iran war reported at 774 - 18 killed, 756 wounded - per Pentagon data via WaPo. Let us hope they were largely composed of browns and sexual deviants.
Editor’s note: Russia continues to pound Ukraine via air and on the ground. The only notable story is new UK Prime Minister Burnham going to Kiev to give Zelenskyyyy a reacharound.
South Korean stocks getting dumped in the Sunday session, with an author who was previously bullish KOSPI now walking it back. Sounds like someone got Cramer’d…
“Happy Merchant” creator and political cartoonist Nick Bougas passed away over the weekend. He was 71. Clearly demonstrated the power of the meme, pressing F to pay respects.
Be sure to commemorate “Economic D Day” by poasting as many dank memes as possible frens…
