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i think with learning anything there’s always a gulf between the skills you have and the goals want to achieve (best case)
pro is that you are driven to improve
con is that you are rather ashamed of your current ability even though it may already be upper percentile

t. still feel dumb when writing or speaking in japanese (and this is objective! i’m around n4 at best)

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@cell this is ultimately caused from the motivator being the end result, which is also the mentality that tends to make AI use (and other "shortcuts") appealing
one thing you'll notice is that the very top achievers in most fields are people that like doing the thing in and of itself, and their quality standards get in the way AFTER that
if you only care about the end result, then making things just to throw them away sucks
but if you like doing the thing, then you're fine doing that because the end result was never the point
and then sometimes you go "actually yeah, this CAN be made public" and there you go