Egregoros

Some poor Iranian guy just trying to drive to his shitty office job because Hadrian didn't finish the job 2000 years ago:

Dusty and covered in fuzz because I fell behind the couch chasing a fly award

I have learned some shocking news about the Bricks and Minifigs thing.

The original store owners that had to leave the country for an emergency? The emergency was Trump being elected. They fled to Canada to escape orange man. They're reddit tier libtards in a polycule. The poster in the back is just... 🤌

"Colleen could be here" he thought

"So yeah, Texas has to prove that this stabbing WASN'T self defense. I don't have to prove it was. Anyway Austin grabbed the knife out of my clients hand and said "Fuck you stupid nigger" and then jumped up with the tip against his chest and fell face down. This is clearly a case of ritual seppuku"

"Your honor, my client pleads whatever. I'm doing this for free. Fuck it he did it"

Thank you Cousel Gigalawyer, plea accepted

Its kind of funny when you think about it that Watergate was such a horrible scandal at the time that to this day people attach -gate to any scandal to make it sound worse but that your average congressman does worse than Watergate twice before lunch every day now

who fuck muh xbox

I'll share the weirdest thing I eat and its actually from my beloved Grandma. Mayo and banana sandwiches. It sounds gross I know HOWEVER...ok its probably gross to most people but I like it

I crush up a sleeve and dump it in my chili with some pepper sauce, turn it in to a porridge. I also will do poor man dinner and have crackers cheese and pepperoni. Saltines are extremely versatile

"By the time that single bullet has made its way to the barrel of your gun it has cost the crown 6 shillings. We can step on them for free"

I almost said "They're not gross look how many brits eat them" and then realized india has a billion people

When I lived in New Brunswick Canada they used to tell stories about poor kids taking lobster rolls to school. Stupid stuck up poor snobs with their lobster

That part got me. "Mom can you cook spaghetti in sauce?"

Mom: I hope you're joking